My dad screwed up and bleached the living room carpet. The whole house smells like bleach. In fact, my nose is starting to get all stuffy cause of the smell, active ceiling fans, and cold air coming in from outside. Stupid Josh keeps making fun of me cause I'm all congested and stuff. Joy's all.. "You're gonna suffocate in your sleep." :: knock on wood. :: That would be horrible. I'm allergic to this stuff, man. Merv is so jacked right now. I asked him if I could stay the night, and he said no cause he's having "people" ( most likely a girl ) over. So much for "stickin' to the family, cause they're all you got." SCREW YOU, MAN! That ain't even right. Right now, I could be like, "Fine.. I ain't pickin' up your kids from their activities tomorrow!" but I'm not looking at it that way, am I? I'm pushing everything and everyone aside til 6:00pm just so you can go run your BS "errands." In fact, I'm going to church service late tomorrow cause of the things you make me do. I hate when he talks about not being appreciated. He needs to think before he opens his mouth. He underappreiciates me ALL the time. Always leaving me out of things and what-not. I sacrafice my time for those kids... I'm a senior in high school. I shouldn't have to look after your kids. It's your job to take them to their activities. I have work to do, I have tests to study for. I sound really selfish right now, but it's really unfair. I can't get study time because I'm always out. Not for my own benefit... cause the kids have their damn activities every day. Well, I deno how this paragraph turned out to be a bash on my favorite bro... all I know is that I'm sick and tired of being under appreciated by him. I do everything he tells me to do... and what do I get in return? Nothing. He doesn't pay my phone bill, he doesn't pay off my car / insurance. He just pays for a full tank of gas when he wants to ( used to be every other week ). I cook, I clean, I do everything he tells me to do, I get good grades like he wants me to, and yet he treats me like a slave.
< / end family feud. >
Josh and I are ok. I mean, I think he's still talking to the girl across the street. I don't know. I need to get over being scared though. It's just, I hate being straight-forward and admitting things to guys. I hate it with a passion. Showing my true feelings is definitely something I can't handle. I'm not a risk-taker when it comes to relationship stuff like this. And GOD.. no, I'm not that clingy kind of person who follows you around 24/7. It's just when I have someone and I care about them, I'm afraid of losing them. I know I'm not attached cause he was my first, cause It's not like I crave it EVERYSINGLEDAYANDWANNAGETFREAKYEVERYSECONDZOMG! ( goodluck on reading that line! ) He's a great person. I have a lot of people telling me things. Believe me, I've heard almost everything~ good and bad. "He's not good enough," "You could do way better," "You're gonna be the one to settle him down," "He treats you different from the rest of the girls," "You met his parents, that's a big step," "He's only talking to other girls, cause he's afraid you're gonna leave him" "I wouldn't be surprised if he fell in love with you." Well, you know.. I'm kind of tired of hearing it from other people and I just wanna ask straight out ask him, but I'm so afraid. I don't wanna scare him off, and make him think I'm some psycho beeotch that wants committment.
< / relationship stuff. >
I guess I'll wrap it up with some quotes.
micah: :: passes me a note. ::
note reads: "give me a ____________ job"
lynne: :: fills blank space in, passes note back. ::
note now reads: "give me a partime job? :D"
micah: i wish i saw you guys kiss again.
lynne: we already did it 3 times.
joy: yup! jr-sr, the orange thing, and last week.
micah: awwww, why do i always miss out on the fun?!
ozzy: i don't wanna go inside. her dad is gonna pull some aZn powers on me.
lynne: keep makin' fun of me... i'll bite you again.
josh: nooo! it was perfect the last tiiiiime!! ;-;
josh: your ass sticks FAAAAAAAAR out of the chair..
lynne: quit making fun of me.
micah: hey! i'm not complaining!! ;]
josh: :: socks micah. :: ey, that's MINE fool!
d-bo: i kid you not~ every guy i asked wants to have a threesome with you two.
lynne and joy: wtf? EEEEEEEWWW.
raquel: i don't get why you say you're ugly.
alexis: yah. JUST ACCEPT IT! E_E
lynne: nooooo. :: broken smile, walks away slowly. :: ._.
raquel: awwwwww!! don't run away!
joy: do they card you when you buy condoms?
lynne: i deno? let's ask! :: calls ate steph. :: :D :D :D
steph: yah, i'll give you the rest of my patches.
lynne: uhm... ok??? :o i'm scaaaaaaaaaared!
chanty: i'm hecka checkin you out right now.
lynne: :: hides behind a bag of hershey's miniature chocolate. :: get away! O_O
chanty: you lost a lot of weight.
lynne: i think it's the sex.
chanty: at this rate~ by the end of the year, you're gonna be hella skinny.
lynne: .... :: slow. :: k, that ain't right. E_E